"Traylor" Park Wisdom #2: When a Dude Looks Like a Lady

If a chick in a beer joint asks you to fingerbang her in the butthole, she isn't a chick. More than likely, "her" real name is Toby. Wash your fingers and introduce yourself accordingly.

"Traylor" Park Wisdom #1: Bad Girls

Bad girls are always fun, but they aren't anyone you want to settle down with for good. Bad girls are like a County Fair. It's trashy, but a blast. The rides are always exciting in the beginning but, ultimately, they just end up making you puke and hate yourself. And, in the end, you always wind up with monkey poop on your shoes.